My job was posted on Tuesday.
Of all the events leading up to retirement so far, seeing my job listed in the WRDSB 'First General Posting' has caused me the most angst. More than telling my boss, more than filling out the retirement paperwork, more than meeting with my new financial advisor about gratuity investment. Knowing that friends and colleagues are out there somewhere writing cover letters and brushing up their resumes as they dream about swooping in and replacing me has caused me my first true retirement melt down. I actually questioned my decision today. And really, I have no doubt about my timing. This is the right thing, right now. But ..... wow, I'm feeling this. As I wrote to Mark Carbone today, I LOVE my job, and the thought of handing over the reigns to someone new is hard. Really hard.
Someone said to me last week "You are leaving big shoes to fill." My immediate response was "No problem - there are lots of people out there with big feet." It's so true ... but as soon as I said it, it felt pretty flip ... and ever since I said it, I've wanted to go back and respond differently. You see, the reality is that anyone who has taught for 25 or 35 years should have big shoes to fill. These big shoes come from years of experiences, learning, unlearning, relearning, risk-taking, trials, errors, successes, celebrations, friendships, professional relationships, learning networks, and so much more. Not only have I been teaching for 35 years, I've been learning for 35 years. Yes, I have big shoes to fill.
So ... to those vying for my job - good luck - I'm thinking of you ... in an anonymous "I'm not ready to put a face to the person yet" kind of way. Without a doubt, this job is about devoting yourself to the learning of others - at the classroom, school and system level. It is a job with humbling responsibilities. When it comes right down to it, this job not so much about technology at all, it's about a wholehearted passion for teaching and pedagogical best practice. And, starting in September, it will be someone else's passion leading the way.
My big shoes are marching off in a new direction.
